In this first-ever video on my Substack, I'm joined by Dechen McSweeney, a dear friend and fellow creator whose recent article "Nine Mistakes I've Made in Relationship to Power" offers important insights into how we navigate power dynamics in creative collaborations.
Our conversation explores the complex interplay between leadership, vulnerability, and intimacy that emerges when we work together on projects that matter deeply to us. As Dechen puts it, when we collaborate "at the level of our soul's vows" to bring something meaningful into the world, our deepest wounds, needs, and longings inevitably surface.
What We Discuss:
The concept of "source" - how creative authority flows within collaborative contexts
Why seeing leaders as "rescuers" blocks true intimacy and growth
How our attachment patterns shape our relationship to power
The challenge of maintaining an open heart while wielding influence
Why stepping into leadership reveals both our gifts and our shadows
The transformative potential of failure when creating from vision
As we explore new models of collaboration beyond traditional hierarchies, we're discovering that the psychological and relational dimensions of power require as much attention as the structural ones. This conversation offers a glimpse into the vulnerable terrain we navigate as we attempt to create together in service of something larger than ourselves.
Dechen's nine mistakes in relationship to power:
Seeing the source as my rescuer and their project as my salvation
Failing to see the source's full humanity and vulnerability
Failing to distinguish my vision and gifts from theirs
Waiting to be told what to do
Withholding key feedback
Not asking for what I need
Judging from the sidelines
Projecting my own shadow qualities onto the source
Being terrified of having an impact
What emerges is a vision of power coupled with sensitivity, openheartedness, and a willingness to remain in contact with our fundamental helplessness.
I hope this conversation offers useful reflections for anyone navigating the complex terrain of creative collaboration, leadership, and friendship.
Note: This is my first video offering on Substack. If you find this format valuable, please let me know in the comments, and I'll consider doing more conversations like this in the future.
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